Consistency: The serial misunderstanding of Apple products

Reader? Are you sitting down? Because we have some shocking news.

The Macalope regrets to inform you…

[deep breath]

…that Apple products cost too much.

Yes. The Macalope was as devastated to read this entirely new accusation no one has ever made before in the history of Apple as you no doubt are.

Writing for MarketWatch, Jurica Dujmovic says “Apple’s new iPhones are overpriced and behind the times.” (Tip o’ the antlers to Jack, SamT and Scott.)

Turns out all of the iPhone 11’s features have already been available on Android phones!

The Samsung Galaxy S10 series ($749-$999) reduced the notch…

…the OnePlus 7 Pro ($699-$749) has removed it altogether. The camera on that device is tucked inside the body of the smartphone…

Hey, you can’t write “tucked inside the body” on the internet! Ew!

…taking up no screen real estate. When you need to use it, it simply pops up. Nifty!

It also means your chicken is done!

…Huawei P30 Pro ($746-$790) enables five times optical zoom on its telephoto lens…

…if you want a phone with a superior nighttime mode, look no further than the Google Pixel 3 ($499-$699).

The list goes on but does anyone else see the problem here?

The problem is that these are all different phones.

“They’re so much cheaper!” Uh, not when you have to buy all of them to get the features in the iPhone 11 Pro. And then a bandolier to carry them all.

That’s not to say there aren’t features these phones have that the iPhone 11 does not. For example:

No direct 3.5-millimeter connection for headphones.

The year is the year 8 quadrillion. The heat death of the universe has overtaken everything. All has grown cold and still… except one technology pundit. He slowly taps out the last words of all existence.

“The iPhone 8Q… still… [gasp] lacks a… [urg] 3.5-millimeter…”

All goes dark. The universe has ended. Silence reigns.

Apple has cut prices for the cheapest phone in the lineup, but you are still paying a premium.

You usually pay a premium to get more, yes.

…Apple is not what it used to be. If the company wants to reclaim the title of innovation leader that it once had, it needs to start noticing the competition, work on its feature set and lead, rather than follow.

Apple is not what it used to be, but this is not an example of that. This is classic Apple. The first iPhone shipped with Edge instead of 3G and a very low-end camera. Apple later waited to ship LTE, too. Other manufacturers shipped it first, but before LTE networks were completely rolled out. Even touch screens shipped on Android first. Well, like, one. Speaking of screens, do they no longer teach children in our schools about “phablets” these days and how Apple was woefully behind in shipping them?

Apple waits, then it ships a better collection of features when it feels the features are ready. That’s what it does. That’s what it’s always done. If you can’t live without having feature X right now

Consistency: The serial misunderstanding of Apple products 1
Consistency: The serial misunderstanding of Apple products 2
Consistency: The serial misunderstanding of Apple products 3
Consistency: The serial misunderstanding of Apple products 4
Consistency: The serial misunderstanding of Apple products 5

Have a comment? Type it below!